By Toku McCree
There is a land where all possibility goes to die, and the entrance gate to this land bears the words, “This is how I am,” formed in wrought iron.
Over and over again I hear from my clients,
• “Well, I would do it this way, but this is how I am.” *”Well, I’d like things to change, but this is how I am.”
• “Well, this is how I am, and this what helped me to be successful. Why would I do it differently?”
• This is how I am.
But let’s just look for a minute at the underlying assumption behind this is how I am. How did you get this way? When did you become how you were? Were you born this way? Did you have some sort of karmic law that forces you to be this way?
For a long time, you peed in a diaper. And that’s how you were. And then you didn’t. For a long time, you were nervous about talking to girls or boys. And then, maybe you weren’t, or maybe at least you were a little less.
You never are any solid thing. You are an ever changing, constantly evolving, non thing. So instead of getting caught up in a world of this is how I am, here are a few ways to escape and reopen the door of possibility, for your business, for your relationships, and for your life.
Often we think of these rules or laws that we paint on ourselves as being negative. But the truth is that you always get something from being how you are. If you didn’t get something, you wouldn’t stay that way. People standing outside on a hot day with the option of air conditioning will usually go inside. They only stay outside if there’s something to watch or do, if there’s a parade, a show, or fireworks.
So if you’re staying a particular way, if you’re defining this is who I am, you must get something from it. You may know exactly what this thing is that you get, or at least what you think you get from staying how you are. Before you decide to stay exactly how you are, understand exactly what you get from it. And then you can decide is this a good way to get the thing that I want.
Think about all the people in your life, the people who achieve amazing things. Think about someone else you know who’s created this thing that you love. Maybe it’s safety, security, simplicity, success, money, or fame.
Can you think of one person who’s able to achieve that thing who’s different than you? If you can’t think of anyone, think about every human being in the whole world. Do you think that there’s at least one person in this whole world who gets this thing you want without being exactly how you are?
Don’t worry about how they get it, just ask the question, “Is there one person in this whole world who is able to create this thing that I want to create, without being the way that I’m attached to being?”
The answer is yes, and you have to admit that it must be at least possible for you to be different and still get what you want. And if that possibility exists it’s possible for you to discover that way too. If it were possible for you to get what you want and change, what would that mean for you? What would you become able to do?
As you start to see what’s possible, you will begin to become more motivated to find ways that this could happen instead of being fixated on all the reasons it couldn’t.