Ladies, when you’re single and loving yourself, it seems like the world is blooming with cute guys. Everywhere you turn, you may find yourself in an enchanting conversation with a hilarious/charming/handsome man. That’s just what happens when your “light is on,” so to speak.
When you’re in a wonderful emotional and mental place, you attract just about everybody. And it’s hard to be selective when, well, you really don’t have to be. If you have the option of dating 100 men, even if you only date 60, you’re bound to date many of the wrong ones.
So before you let your imagination get carried away with ideas of having three kids with your barista, keep in mind these people you should never, ever date:
1. One of your therapist’s other patients
Your therapist’s office should be a place where you feel totally safe and not at all self-conscious. If things don’t work out with another patient, you won’t want to go in the waiting room. And you worked hard to find a therapist you liked!
2. Somebody your sister dated
I don’t care how long ago it was, how over him your sister is, and how much both him and your sister have changed as people since the relationship, don’t do it. The moment they mention one memory about your sibling, you’ll be scarred for life—especially if you’ve already slept with the guy.
3. Your gynecologist
It’s probably for the best that your romantic partner doesn’t know too much about your vagina. He should just know that he likes it and that it’s healthy. So no matter how cute and kind and single your gynecologist is, don’t date him. That’s another doctor you worked hard to find, and you don’t want to lose him.
4. A superior at work
Just wait: one day, he’ll have to criticize you for your work and then you will loathe him on a personal level. Don’t muddy the waters of love with the drama of work.
5. The bartender at your absolute favorite watering hole
You know—the one you go to every day, without fail, to have a drink, kick back, and vent about your day with your friends. Do you want to ruin your little cocktail haven for yourself by dating and dumping the bartender there?
6. Your mom’s best friend’s son
If and when it doesn’t work out, your poor mom and her friend will be at each other’s throats over whose baby hurt whose baby. And you’ll still have to see the guy at large family functions.
7. Your neighbor
It all seems so convenient until you break up, and now the simple act of pulling into your parking spot causes you to sweat and panic.
8. Your friend’s brother
Under very few circumstances does this scenario work out. But when it doesn’t, your ex will be in your best friend’s ear about what a shitty girlfriend you are, and you won’t be able to vent to your best friend about your recent ex because that’s her family.
9. A colleague of your parent’s
Your father may have some colleagues that are 13 years younger than him, and well within the appropriate dating age range for yourself. But if you date one of your dad’s colleagues and it doesn’t work out, you just made your poor dad’s workplace a very uncomfortable place. And even if it did work out for a while, the guy would worry his every move was being monitored.
10. Your child’s babysitter
If you’re a single mother, you may just find yourself a cute, loving, funny and compassionate male babysitter, who isn’t much younger than yourself. Your shared adoration over your baby will bond you, naturally, but if things blow up, then you and your baby just lost the favorite babysitter.
11. Your mentor
If you become the protégé of a successful man in your industry, the two of you will spend a lot of time together and may end up falling for each other. But you don’t want to date someone whose plays an additional role in your life by analyzing and critiquing your every career move.
12. Your ex’s brother
This is the reverse scenario of dating your sibling’s ex, but it’s just as bad. Don’t think your ex isn’t over there warning his brother about all of your unfavorable qualities. Oh, and his family will judge the hell out of you.
13. Your client
Whether you’re a home decorator, personal shopper, personal chef or masseuse, don’t date your client. You’ll always wonder if he’s in it for the freebies and if you break up, you’ve lost a lucrative revenue stream!
14. That male friend who is also a player
Don’t think that just because you have a history and he technically cares about you that he won’t play you like he plays everyone else. And when he does, you won’t even be able to go crying to your friend’s group about it—they’ll just say, “What did you think would happen?”
15. Your baby’s daddy
If you are a single mother or a divorced mother, do not sleep with your child’s father unless you’re absolutely certain you’re getting back together. Do you have any idea how traumatizing it is for a child to believe his parents are getting back together, only to have his dreams shattered?
h/t Madame Noir